maybe several things

I wish my brain could be normal about exercise. There are things I think I would enjoy talking about on my journal or on social media, except the second I start typing about anything exercise-related that I am trying out, I start to imagine how people reading those words will feel about the thing, the meaning they will assign to it, the assumptions they will make about why I'm trying it, the opinions they will have about how the thing relates to my weight or overall health, and then my brain goes to hell and I have to delete everything so as not to go into avoidance mode about whatever the thing is. (Please, please do not offer advice about this in the comments, or congratulate me for trying a thing. Those types of responses will unfortunately also send my brain to hell.)

So instead of talking about that, I will talk about another thing that is related to embodiment. This week saw the probable conclusion of the four-year saga about my attempts to obtain orthotics to help manage the pain I feel whenever I am on my feet. The conclusion was: Unless a miracle occurs, I will be in severe, debilitating pain whenver I am standing or walking for the rest of my life, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. (Also, doctors will continue to grill me about my weight every time I ask about my feet, even though this has been happening since I was a teenager and weighed a great deal less than I do now.) This sucks, to say the least, but I suppose it's just a return to the status quo of the last 20+ years of my life.

What else... Oh, I checked my journal and realized I never posted on DW about the cats I adopted in March. This is them! The fluffy tuxedo is Mia, a.k.a. Mama Mia, so-called because the kitten, Fernando, is her (literal) son. I got them from a local rescue, and their backstory is that Miss Mia was found abandoned on the side of the road in a nearby city with two(!) litters of her own kittens—one litter five months old, the other brand new. Mia is only two years old herself, so she was a teen mom. The other kittens were all adopted out very quickly, and I ended up lucky enough to adopt mamacat and her last remaining baby. ♥ Their foster mom told me she sometimes called Mia "Mam(m)a Mia", which I thought was perfect, so I decided on an ABBA theme and named the little guy Fernando. They're real sweethearts, very confident, and Mr. Nando is learning a lot from his mom. They've settled in nicely and while neither currently seem inclined toward a lapcat lifestyle, I get lots of cuddles when they come to lie next to me! I adore them.

I think that's all I've really got right now. I'm doing fine overall, just tired from work as always. Been reading Sha Po Lang, which is a lot of fun. I hope you're all well.