Now.

Apr. 4th, 2010 01:37 am
queenofzan: (Default)
Tired, feeling like crap, threw up my delicious dinner, started my period, still have to write a five-page paper on the definition of censorship and a one-page paper in Spanish, won't have time tomorrow because it's family Easter, which means I'll probably get involved in arguments with my family about religion, haven't been back to my room in way too long, didn't get my daily minimum of hugs.

However, I did color eggs, and I did get to shindig, I'll see my mom, my cats, and my dogs tomorrow, there will be yummy burgers, plenty of hard-boiled eggs, lots of candy, I'll get to show off some art, and I'm currently listening to the Across the Universe soundtrack. Also papers on censorship are super easy for me to write, because I automatically start ranting and fill the space before I know it.

I would like to find my hair curlers and curl my hair a few days before I chop some of it off. I'm not planning on it, but as much as I like my hair like this, I've had pretty much the same hairstyle and color for two years now. I can't afford to bleach and dye it, but I can afford to painstakingly cut my hair myself.

Now, I'm going to try to do some writing before I blow up the air mattress and pass out.
queenofzan: (Default)
I feel like these five individuals are teaching me more about writing than all of the classes I am taking right now are teaching me about everything else.

I feel like I should take notes on everything they ever say.

I do have to wonder, though, why I have kept so much of the beginning of Silver Chain the same when it has always been the weakest and most obviously conceived before I was in high school. Totally got called out on that tonight, haha.

Also wonder why I constantly analyze the shit out of the tv I watch to the point of annoying everyone around me, but I don’t usually analyze literature unless it’s for a class or I’ve read it like a million times. It’s starting to be an issue with regards to crit group.

This might be one of the most stressful parts of my week, but I feel like it’s the part that will be the most important later in life. With the possible exception of learning the Spanish language (because hello how could that not be important to me?).
queenofzan: (Default)
I had the best Crit Group experience tonight. It was just fantastic. We all have similar senses of humor, we get along well, overall everyone is a very good writer, and everyone takes criticism well. Honestly, it's like a dream. Tonight we ran late (almost an hour!) because we were so involved in talking about someone's story, offering suggestions, and making sure he knew what he was doing (he did when it came to the magic and the setting--mostly--but the characters had issues, and we spent a lot of time on that) that none of us even looked at a clock.

And even though we were pretty much tearing this guy's story apart, he was accepting the criticism, explaining things when we asked questions, and when someone offered alternatives or pointed out things that contradicted each other, he would explain how he would change it and what that would do to the rest of the story. Everyone so far has been about that wonderful at taking crit, too. I'm the only one whose story we haven't discussed yet, but I did send it around and the few comments I got on it were positive, which makes me feel pretty good. But of course, I've seen how the group works and offers crit, and man, this is a group I trust with my work.

This is also apparently a group I trust to give me a ride home, because since we ran late, I was concerned about the bus I needed still running, so the couple offered me a ride since my dorm is on their way. And I enjoyed the ride home, too--we talked about Iron Man, discussed the night's stories a little more, and the woman driving actually thanked me for sending my story out (!).

I feel like I have a lot of fun at these meetings, but I also learn a lot--and I feel like I'm helping the others out as well, and it's pretty fucking awesome.

Fact:

Feb. 23rd, 2010 12:36 am
queenofzan: (O rly?   Sammy!)
All work and hanging out with family members and no physical contact beside the occasional high-five is simply not feasible for me.

I felt like I was losing my mind.

My solution: more high-fives. Also playing with kids. Having a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old attacking me and beeping my nose was pretty much exactly the right cure. I mean, besides going out and jumping someone for guerrilla cuddles.

...Now that I think about it, that sounds pretty awesome, actually.

ANYWAY. I should be going to bed, because I have my costume class tomorrow morning, and we've finally started sewing. Have I mentioned that I love sewing? I do. Right now I am wearing a shirt I put together myself. It started life as a 3x NaNo shirt and one of my brother's old button-downs. It's now awesome and comfy and excellent for horsing around with kids in. Also for screaming at the television.

My life sounds really interesting with few details. As soon as I explain what I'm talking about, it kind of goes down the drain.

FINALLY: Today in my boring required English class I started writing a sci-fi story. I really hope I can finish it, because it is the sort of thing my dad would read, and honestly? It'd be pretty great to finish something.
queenofzan: (O rly?   Sammy!)
So, I just got back from my first meeting of the writing group that grew out of my area's NaNo community. It was interesting. I've never actually been part of a writing group before that was both real-life and made up of people who weren't my friends. They were all people I knew vaguely from write-ins and such in November, but no one I really knew, and so I was a little quieter than I might have otherwise been, when it came to speaking up and critiquing and such.

Overall, it was enjoyable, and I'm looking forward to the next meeting, two Thursdays from now. I managed to only spend five dollars even though we were at an IHOP, so I feel like I did good there. And there were only a total of six people there, three of whom I knew from write-ins and one of whom was me, so I didn't get as freaked-out-closed-mouth-stare-straight-ahead as I might have. I was definitely the youngest person there, though, and I felt like the most inexperienced, but that might not have been true. I just always get a little awkward when people start talking about how terrible they were when they were younger, and "when they were younger" invariably turns out to be about my age now. Oh well.

Just figured I'd write this up since it was what I missed out on a gazillion other things for--a Sleeping Beauty ballet, Volleyball, and a movie are just a few of the things people invited me to do on this particular Thursday, and I skipped all of them to go to the writing group. I feel like I made the better decision there (though I really wanted to go to Sleeping Beauty).

So, that was the big exciting part of my week. Next week I have my first few exams for this semester, and we start sewing in costume class. Hopefully I'll get some more work on Silver Chain done, and maaaaaaybe I will finish another writing comic.

/exciting posts
queenofzan: (Default)
I hate it when my RL friends ask me for advice on writing. Not when they have some specific issue or something. But when it's a friend who thinks writing twenty pages of a story definitely means they're going to finish and publish this book and they might have to fix some punctuation errors or something and they ask "what I think"...

It's pretty uncomfortable for me. I mean, I know we all start somewhere, and that's where most of us start, but there are also a lot of people who get to that point and then never do anything with writing ever again. The friend in question in this case is kind of a flighty type in the first place, so I will believe his commitment to this story/writing when I see it.

But, like, I don't know what to say. My urge to constantly analyze things and talk about what makes writing good and point out flaws always fights with the knowledge that saying something too harsh to the wrong person can make that friendship awkward (or, depending on the person, nonexistent).

The problem in this case is that the key idea of the story really is quite good. It's interesting. There could be some interesting themes about fate and second chances and etc. It's the sort of idea where you hear it and you go, Ooh, I'd love to write that, except, you know, the person who came up with it is a good enough friend they'd call you on it and get pissed, and not good enough that you can ask to snag the idea.

I find I have this problem often enough to get very weary of it. I don't know how to tell people that the ability to put words in a row doesn't make them a writer, and while I applaud the effort, nineteen pages into a story (with many common beginner flaws and a slightly below average grasp of grammar) is a little early to be talking about publishing and the sequel you'll write.

THAT SAID, I did my best to be encouraging and compliment the idea behind the story and pointed out the most immediately fixable of its flaws (in this case, the flowery dialogue in a modern-day story) and to generally not be a bitch. But still. I feel like I ought to make up a sign. Something about not running a writing clinic. I don't know.
queenofzan: (Default)
Okay, I know there are a lot of people in the writing community who are like "Ew fanfiction", and I know there are some that are like, "Well, I think it goes a long way toward getting people actually writing, which is how people get better and everything," and I know there are some other people who started in fandom and have since been published and still hang around in fandom and write fic and do perfectly well. I'm not sure any of that is the point, though, because there is one thing I have noticed fandom does so much better than any other writing community I've been a part of: giving writing advice.

Most of the writing advice I read other people (that isn't for academic papers why do they all want me to read about academic papers stop telling me to read these thingsssss) give is pretty...well, sometimes it's helpful. But a lot of it is repetitive, and a lot of it is all over the place, and a whole bunch of it is totally subjective and not terribly productive. In fandom, they cut straight to the point. Lots of fandoms are really good at giving criticism, and lots of them are really good at giving specific, helpful feedback, but fandom in general really shines at telling people what is and is not good writing.

Like this post here. Some of it is very fic-specific, but other stuff is really the sort of thing that any writer ought to be told straight away, and I honestly do not see addressed in places like Writer's Digest. Maybe it's supposed to be so obvious that everyone should know it already, but it clearly is not. And sometimes, saying it straightforwardly with a few swears is better than saying it all politely, because really, most people pay more attention to something that sounds interesting. Fact of life.

/rambly
queenofzan: (Default)
I don't know if I've ever been this comfortable in my own life before. It's interesting, feeling like I've been waiting all my life to be right here, right now, living in a residence hall with a bunch of nutty teenaged girls and a stressed out music major roommate, getting up at eight o clock to walk across the street and learn American history, and then go out with my family for dinner almost every night, and sit in my room and read for class and fool around on the internet and eat oranges.

I don't want to be somewhere else. I don't spend all my time thinking about how much better things would be if I lived in Wisconsin/Arizona/not with my mom, or if only I could say something to Jazlin/Josejuan/whatever J name person I'm crushing on this week, or if I could just get some work done, or if my classes were less boring. I'm totally content right here, doing what I'm doing. It's kind of a first for me, and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it.

Other than forcing myself to write, which is increasingly difficult to do, along with reading, because I see no reason to get away from the real world. I've never had trouble reading, for crying out loud, because it was always better to be somewhere else. And now it's not, and that's weird.

Not bad, of course, but weird. Very different. I think I could get used to it.

(and I've been doing a pretty good job, for me, of ignoring the voice in the back of my head that says it's all going to implode sooner or later, because things are going too well. Pretty good. Not perfect.)
queenofzan: (Dude.)
You know what I don't like, is when people look at me like I'm a terrible horrible person for wanting to be a mother and raise my children like, myself. As though it is so wrong for someone to actively want kids, and want to care for them themselves. It's not like I can't work from home, you guys. I make up stories. THIS IS A HELPFUL THING IN CHILD-REARING KIDS LIKE STORIES they also like pulling my hair and being adorable. I mean, guys, it's not like I plan on going out and getting knocked up right this second and dropping out of school to pop em out. That's really not my plan at all. The plan is pretty nebulous: one day, when older, have children. Raise them. Why does this make me a bad person? Why can't this be one of my goals in life? Why do people give me that look?

Also being behind on my wordcount. That's not cool, guys. *goes to write before bed*
queenofzan: (groovy Dumbledore)
So NaNo is in full swing, I'm behind on my word count, I've done all my homework this week, I'm registered for classes for both winter and the spring, and I've already got my birthday/Christmas list sent out to everyone.

But I'm behind in my word count.

Not for long, however! I'm going to an actual, official write-in on Saturday for the first time in the several years I've been doing NaNo. And hopefully I will make some progress.

In other news: Eastwick is not great television, but it amuses me so. And makes me happy. In my pants. In my pants (because Paul Gross).

Know what else makes me happy? Everything, these days. I'm so happy all the time I start to worry that something terrible is going to happen. It's been a month and nothing bad has happened. NOTHING. Creepy.
queenofzan: (no willpower)
So I've been thinking about doing NaNoWriMo this year. Not that I don't have other things to do, but I don't have enough to do. I'm much more able to get things done when I have a whole crapton of things to do instead of just a few. The few never get done but the crapton all gets accomplished. It doesn't make any sense.

But sense I don't have many classes this semester (very few since I dropped German) I thought maybe making myself busy would help me to get things done.

My thought processes make little sense outside of my head.

Anyway, I was wondering what to work on, if I did. I have a good portion of an outline for the reboot of Silver Chain (finally) and I've been kind of working on that a bit but not enough to have more than 1000 words, and I have an entire outline for Some Never Do Explain that I haven't worked on very much lately but with more already written (of the current draft, anyway). If I was going to do NaNo, which I am seriously considering at the moment to get me to stop slacking off, then I think I'd do one of those, but I'm not sure which one.

Of course, a problem with doing NaNo this year would be my birthday/family thanksgiving (the same holiday in practice) which tends to eat up a day/a few days. But since I don't have many classes, I might be able to get ahead. I don't know.
queenofzan: (Default)
So today, I went and saw The Proposal with my mother, then came home and filed for several hours, and then [livejournal.com profile] scruffbunny drew me into a conversation about our shared expanded Zelda universe, and I got roped into updating our map.

Now it is ten o clock at night and I still have not finished my commission or done laundry, both things I need to do like two days ago. However, my paperwork is like so organized.

I'm really excited that I get to move in less than a week from now. I've talked to my roommate, and she's nice, though she might not stay my roommate, and I'd like to be settling in. Also by the time I am at school, I will have money to pay for things, and I never realized how much I wanted to have a matching sheet set until I was presented with the possibility of doing so.

I listened to all of The Graveyard Book yesterday, and I really love Neil Gaiman. Even if his books nearly always make me cry. While I was listening, I drew two pages of comic, and inked them, and colored them.

I am very busy for someone who isn't really accomplishing what she should be.
queenofzan: (Default)
So, today I finished coloring a piece I was having problems with last night, watched the first BSG webisode series, and forced my mother to watch the first episode of Supernatural.

Yesterday, I talked to Jesse and Lamar. We are all in the same acting class! I think the rest of our classmates are going to hate us, because the three of us have four years of inside jokes and teamwork behind us already. I hate hanging around people who've been friends for a long time. They always make me feel left out. I can only infer that we do the same to other people. Also: man I miss those guys.

Tomorrow, I go on a photoshoot for the new hardcover edition of FWOAP.

For now, I've only been up for three hours, so I guess I'm going to try to write? Or draw? Or maybe sew?

My life is so very exciting. But really, I'm just trying to distract myself from getting nervous about college. Living with a stranger! Communal bathrooms! Not having pets! I'm not worried about the classes at all, though. I'm studying theatre, math, history, and german. These are all things I'm pretty okay at. The school part of things don't worry me anymore.

But the whole interacting-with-people thing does. OH WELL OFF TO DISTRACT MYSELF AGAIN.
queenofzan: (Default)
Is it weird that I'm kind of envious of people who can write a short story? I mean, I've had writer friends tell me they wished they could write longer stuff like me, but I kind of wish I could get a story to a manageable length. For one thing, it's easier to finish, which lets you feel more accomplished. It's also a little easier to sell, from my understanding, though that doesn't seem to be much of an issue anymore, since I keep getting sewing commissions and school is about to start, so my financial aid should be taking care of most of the necessities soon.

But it still frustrates me that nearly all of my ideas are for long, oftentimes meandering projects that take forever and often depend on some other knowledge.

On that note, however, work on SNDE is, while not exactly zooming along, still going pretty well. I can at least write it in pieces without a problem. Most of the time, I have to write in order for things to make sense, and that's a little obnoxious. But I've got a good outline and a solid idea of how things go, so I can just write whatever bit I'm feeling that day. It's nice.

I realize I still haven't done a comic con post, but I promise I still will. I'm still in the recovery process. Also I have a sewing commission to finish for a school friend, and she wants it before she moves into school--the week before I do. :/
queenofzan: (WOAH.)
Updated the writing journal with a few things, went back and made sure all the icons matched the verses. Having internet again really helps the showing of productivity. I have proof that I have been productive the last few weeks! I swear! I can even post pictures of the sewing I am doing. In fact, I am going to do that:

Picspam under the cut! )
...I may have forgotten to say that I got a really nice camera for graduation.
queenofzan: (Default)
As a belated and at this point somewhat useless piece of information, I now have a writing community. I'll try to remember to post things there, but since I hardly ever consider something finished, I don't know how often that'll be happening.

At the least, some of my stuff is there to provide hours of reading entertainment. More or less, anyway, depending on how fast you read.

So, yeah, check out [livejournal.com profile] qz_writing.
queenofzan: (Default)
My exciting news for today is that I hate actors I wrote nearly 2000 words of smut.

And also I hate actors. Rather, I hate when my actors forget that I am their director as well as their friend, and that the director-bit takes precedence over the friendness. And by actors-plural, I mean my lead, Sonja. Sigh.

(this icon is totally necessary because not only do actors make me angry, the smut stars a vampire. I am so very clever.)
queenofzan: (Default)
I feel kind of lost at the moment. I accidentally slept through school today, so I spent the whole day reading comics. I ran out of comics, and now I don't know what to do. I should go to bed, since I do have school tomorrow, but I really don't want to do that. I don't know.

The only work I did today--the only anything I did today that I could even loosely classify as work--was plotting out a Supernatural/Grease crossover with [livejournal.com profile] nehi. That was my day!

Also I chewed my fingernails way too much and now it kind of hurts to type. :/
queenofzan: (no willpower)
Am currently muddying my way through Stephen's part ten (much easier once I realized there was a big fistfight because these boys, honestly) and...side characters. They confound me! I get all into fleshing them out so the background seems real and suddenly it's all I can draw! God only knows what will happen once I get the chance to write about it!

I think probably it has something to do with the kissings. Also the hypocrisy. The reason there is a fistfight, you see, is because these two guys are being rude and intolerant and homophobic. And in my head, these two guys were always Heterosexual Life Partners. Except, apparently, less so on the heterosexual part. Which makes things automatically hilarious in my head because it has been planned for some time that they would be giving Max (and now Edwards) shit about being gay (even though at this particular point, Max has no idea either he or Edwards is).

MY POINT IS THESE ARE MINOR CHARACTERS who only exist because I needed something for Edwards to do for Max in a "I'll save you!" capacity. And I spent all day coloring them! And now drawing them! Baaaaaah minor characters.
queenofzan: (Default)
One: Comics should not be this addicting.

Two: We should probably actually do something as long as Sophie is here.

Three: Writing outlines is not difficult. Plots, however, still are.

Four: Holy shit that is a huge monster I am so glad I am not playing this game.

That is all.

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